Memories
by NiennaAngel
Summary: AtobexOishi eventually Atobe and Oishi were good friends, but Oishi lost his memory and now Atobe has to live with the memories.
1. Kei chan

Okay, so this is my latest bit of crack. It doesn't become AtobexOishi for many chapters, but it gets there eventually. Please read and review!

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5-year-old Atobe Keigo walked into his best friend's room as quietly as he could. He had been told his friend was sleeping and shouldn't be woken up. Keigo had missed his friend dreadfully through the whole day and wanted to see him even if he was asleep. Keigo walked over to the bed smiling and peered into his friend's face. "Hiro-chan, you awake?"

Hiro-chan cracked one eye open as he nodded. "Mom says I have to sleep" he whispered softly. He was smiling and clearly as happy to see Keigo as Keigo was to see Hiro-chan.

Keigo thought this statement over briefly before climbing onto his friend's bed and finding a way beneath the covers. "Then I'll sleep too" he stated firmly, but quietly. He didn't want their mothers to come in and lecture them when they were about to do as they were told and get some sleep. Hiro-chan smiled brightly and snuggled into Keigo's chest.

"You're the bestest friend ever, Kei-chan" he murmured sleepily. It didn't take long for Hiro-chan to fall asleep using Keigo as a pillow.

Keigo smiled as he closed his eyes to take a nap himself. If his best friend couldn't get out of bed and play because he was sick that Keigo would simply stay in bed with him until his mother made him go home.

8-year-old Keigo chased after Hiro-chan as they played a two person game of tag. They both knew that you were supposed to play tag with more than two people, but they didn't really have any other friends. Sure, they talked to other people, but there was no one else they called a friend. They always relied on each other and that was fine as far as they were concerned. Their parents, unfortunately, didn't see it the same way and often tried to convince them to make friends with other children. Keigo and Hiro-chan brushed off those lectures easily without a second thought.

Keigo caught up to his friend, but instead of just tagging him and running off he grabbed the other boy's hand. "Got ya!" he yelled even though they were standing inches apart. The excitement from the chase hadn't worn off yet.

Hiro-chan laughed. "That's not the way the game works, Kei-chan! You tag me! You don't catch me!" Hiro-chan laughed loudly and openly. It was the reason Keigo had caught him instead of just tagging him. He wanted to hear his friend laugh like that and breaking the simple rule was a guaranteed way to do that.

"Let's play something else, Hiro-chan. I don't want to run around anymore." Keigo smiled at his friend and hoped that they could settle down and play a board game. It was more fun to sit around and laugh over silly things than chase each other around Keigo's large home as far as Keigo was concerned. Sometimes Hiro-chan agreed and sometimes he didn't. It all depended on his mood.

Hiro-chan stopped laughing, but kept smiling as he nodded. "Okay, Kei-chan!" The two held hands as they ran to the game room to find something new to play with.

11-year-old Keigo stared in shock as his precious Hiro-chan was loaded into an ambulance. Hiro-chan had slipped and hit his head on a statue in Keigo's family's garden. He hadn't woken up when Keigo had yelled his name over and over again begging for him to wake up. His butler was holding his hand tightly so that he wouldn't run after Hiro-chan.

Hiro-chan was in a coma. Keigo didn't really understand what that meant. His mother had explained that it meant Hiro-chan couldn't wake up. Keigo had already known that. He wanted his mother to explain it better, but that's all she would say as she held him that night.

Keigo was told that Hiro-chan woke up two weeks after the accident. He demanded to be taken to the hospital to see his friend, but he was told that Hiro-chan had amnesia. Keigo asked what his mother meant by that only to be told that Hiro-chan didn't remember who anyone was, not even his parents. He would be allowed to see his friend once he had recovered a bit and had settled into life at home again.

A month passed and then six and when it was a year to the day that Hiro-chan had his accident Keigo realized something very important. Hiro-chan's parents didn't want them to be friends anymore. They wanted Hiro-chan to make friends with other people and he wouldn't do that as long as Keigo and Hiro-chan were best friends. For the first time since the accident Keigo cried himself to sleep that night knowing that he had lost his best and only friend.

The next morning his mother asked him how he was feeling and Keigo replied for the first time in the way that would make others consider him overly arrogant in the future. "Ore-sama feels fine, Mother," even though he felt far from fine.

13-year-old Keigo watched the doubles pair out on the court at Nationals. It had been two years since Hiro-chan's accident and Hiro-chan still didn't remember him. That didn't mean that Keigo had forgotten him. When he realized his best friend was playing the same sport he was and had even made the regulars line up he had started watching for him. Hiro-chan seemed to have made friends and had even managed to find a new best friend to replace Keigo.

"They're nothing special. We could beat them. Right, Yuushi?"

"Of course we could, Gakuto." 

Keigo ignored his teammates beside him. He doubted the validity of their statements if only because he knew how stubborn his Hiro-chan could be. Unfortunately, the teen standing on the court wasn't his Hiro-chan. He wasn't the boy that had called Keigo "Kei-chan" with such affection growing up.

"Game Oishi-Kikumaru pair! 6 games to 3" the referee called out as the match came to an end.

Keigo watched jealously as his Hiro-chan was embraced by his new best friend. Keigo turned and walked away from the painful scene. He had never even considered replacing Hiro-chan, but Hiro-chan didn't exist anymore. Oishi Shuichiro had been more than willing to replace a best friend he didn't remember. Keigo on the other hand had learned to keep people at a distance so that no one could break his heart like Hiro-chan had.

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	2. He's Oishi, not Hiro chan

Here's the next chapter. I don't have much to say about it. Please read and review!

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14-year-old Keigo relaxed as he watched his team practice. He was captain of Hyotei's 200 person tennis club and he was proud of it. It was also useful since it was one more mask he was able to put on so that he could avoid making any real connections. There were plenty of people who mistook his popularity with a desire to be around others. There were just as many who thought he was arrogant because of it. They were all wrong. No one understood Keigo's motivations because no one knew Keigo. He liked it that way.

"Atobe!" Keigo turned his attention to the regular who was trying to get his attention. "Space out much?"

"What can ore-sama do for you, Shishido?" he questioned tiredly. He really didn't care what Shishido wanted, but it was best not to let anyone find that out.

"I asked if you could switch my session with someone else. I can't stay after practice next week." Shishido was glaring at him in clear annoyance. "What's your problem, Atobe?"

Keigo quirked an eyebrow at that question. "I have no problem, Shishido. Why is it that you are incapable of performing your club duties?" Keigo knew that people thought he just liked to screw with people, but that was far from the case. It was just easier to keep people away if he acted superior to the rest of the world.

"My grandparents are going to be in town next week for my father's birthday. They're going to give me enough crap about having to stay after for practice. They won't be happy if I have to stay late every day to help the non-regulars." Shishido folded his arms across his chest in annoyance and frustration.

Keigo sighed and waved Shishido off. "If you can find a regular willing to switch weeks with you than you may do so." He probably shouldn't have given in so easily, but he wasn't in the best frame of mind to keep up pretenses with his regulars.

Rising slowly Keigo walked away from the courts to seek refuge in the club house for a few minutes before playing a bit himself. As he thought about his team and the upcoming tournament season he couldn't help but wonder about Hiro-chan. He really needed to stop calling him that. He was Oishi and a competitor now. The vice-captain of a rival team. Did he remember how he learned to play tennis? They had learned together so Keigo had to believe that he had forgotten it. What all had he forgotten? Had he just forgotten people or more? Did he have any of his memories back yet?

Keigo shook his head as he sat down on the couch in the team's club room trying to rid himself of troublesome questions. Oishi was not the boy he had grown up with. He would never be Keigo's precious Hiro-chan again. His mother had told him that the damage was most likely permanent so there really was no hope of Oishi remembering Keigo or their friendship. Keigo would have to shoulder the burden of those memories on his own.

In a few moments Keigo would have to return to the courts and play a match, but for now he allowed a stray memory to play before his closed eyes.

10-year-old Keigo watched his best friend cannon ball into the pool wondering what his obsession with water was. Sometimes he wondered if Hiro-chan wasn't a really a fish or possibly a merman. "Kei-chan! Come swim with me!"

"It's cold" Keigo protested as he sat down on the edge of the pool. The water was indeed chilly and he could see Hiro-chan shivering slightly, but that didn't seem to faze his friend. "I'll go swimming when it gets warmer" he explained in hopes of getting out of his friend's insane idea.

Hiro-chan swam over and rested his hands on Keigo's legs. "It's okay if you stay in the water. It's when you let the air hit your skin that it gets cold" he replied tugging slightly in hopes of getting Keigo to relent.

Keigo simply shook his head no. "I don't want to swim today, Hiro-chan. The water's cold and I'm not a fish like you are."

Hiro-chan sighed and pulled himself out of the water to sit next to Keigo. "I'm not a fish. I just like to swim. It's fun." He kicked his feet in the water, refusing to meet Keigo's eyes.

Keigo sighed and wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulders. "We'll go swimming all summer break. I know you're not a fish, Hiro-chan. You just love the water almost as much as a fish." 

"Fish only love water because they can't survive without it" Hiro-chan replied softly. Keigo could only laugh as he hugged his shivering friend.

"Let's go inside Hiro-chan. You're freezing!"

Keigo rose from his seat in the club house and left as he shook off the last remnants of the memory. The last thing he needed was for his memories to affect his play against Akutagawa Jiro. He didn't need someone to accuse him of being off his game. The tournaments were just around the corner which meant that he had to be even more conscious of how he acted than usual. Soon he would have to be in the presence of a friend who would never remember him.

Keigo joined his team and watched over them briefly before ordering Jiro to play a match against him. The serve and volley specialist was more than happy to agree to Keigo's demands and even managed to wake up completely at the idea of playing him. Keigo won as predicted, but it was good exercise and kept his mind from other things for a short while.

Keigo sat at his desk working on his homework when his mind started to wander again. It seemed impossible for him to stay on task when it was so close to the tournaments. The thought of seeing Hiro-chan again was incredibly distracting. He shouldn't let it get to him like he did, but he missed his friend dreadfully and wanted to at least reassure himself that Hiro-chan was happy. If Hiro-chan was happy then Keigo could go on with his life without worrying too much. 

7-year-old Hiro-chan climbed onto Keigo's large bed as his best friend relaxed. Keigo was sick with something that Hiro-chan couldn't understand, but knew was bad. "Are you okay, Kei-chan?" he questioned softly as he made himself comfortable beneath the covers.

Keigo shifted and wrapped his arms around Hiro-chan. "I'm okay now that you're here, Hiro-chan. You make everything better" he whispered. In truth he was really sick, but he didn't want to worry his Hiro-chan so he told a partial truth. He felt better now that his friend was with him, but it would take some time before he was really better.

"You'll get better soon, Kei-chan. You're strong."

Keigo closed his textbook before walking over to his window. "Not that strong, Hiro-chan."

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	3. Regret

I hope you enjoy! Please read and review!

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Keigo watched as his non-regulars competed against an unknown school called Fudomine. Really, they shouldn't be losing like they were. It was completely unacceptable. He would have to pretend to be annoyed that they lost a round so early in the tournament. It wasn't hard to pretend to be annoyed because it was annoying to have to pretend. Keigo knew that he would have to deal with the consequences later on, but for now he wanted to ignore what was going on. At this rate he wouldn't have an excuse to check out Seigaku's matches because they wouldn't be facing Seigaku.

Keigo frowned as the only regular he had playing dropped the match. He wouldn't be able to check up on Hiro-chan and make sure he was okay now. There would be no way to excuse his desire to watch their match up. He was annoyed by that and it helped for when he called Sakaki to inform him that _the _Hyotei Gakuen had lost before Kanto had even started.

The way back to school was as uneventful as ever. The non-regulars were ashamed at being beaten and Shishido was too distressed over losing his regulars spot that no one really said anything. It gave him time to think, to remember.

7-year-old Keigo stared at the door to his hospital room wishing for it to open and admit Hiro-chan. He had been hospitalized with a bad stomach ache or that's what he called it. The doctor had some fancy word Keigo didn't even want to try to pronounce for whatever was wrong with him. Giving up on the door he laid down on his side and curled into a ball. His stomach didn't hurt as much as it had, but he still didn't feel right.

When he heard the door open he sat up quickly as Hiro-chan walked in looking cautious. Keigo grinned and tried to suppress a laugh as his friend slunk over to the side of his bed and reached into his school bag. He pulled out a homemade bento. "My mom helped me make it" he stated proudly as he climbed up on the bed and placed the bento in Keigo's lap. "You need to eat" he stated firmly.

Keigo smiled and opened the bento. He didn't really want to eat, hadn't for a several weeks, but if Hiro-chan was telling him to eat he would eat. "Thank you, Hiro-chan. It looks good." Hiro-chan smiled at him and sat their patiently as he watched Keigo pick at the food and finally eating about half of its contents. Sighing Hiro-chan put the rest of the bento on Keigo's bedside table.

"You'll be okay, right Kei-chan? You'll be home soon?" Keigo frowned and held his arms out for his older friend. It didn't feel like that most of the time. He always felt like he was the older one when in reality Hiro-chan was over half a year older.

"I'll be fine, Hiro-chan. I promise!" Hiro-chan smiled as he snuggled into Keigo's side.

"You should sleep."

"If you'll stay with me."

Keigo snapped out of his reverie just as the bus pulled to a stop in front of the school. He would have more time to reminisce later on his way home. For now he had club paperwork to deal with and keep his focus on. He left the bus first as he always did and headed towards the club house. The others would go straight home and he would only have to have a brief encounter with Sakaki before he was left alone and free to drop his masks and be the person he really was.

His coach showed up as he sifted through folders to pull out the appropriate forms. Sakaki sat down behind the desk in the room and watched Keigo carefully. "You sounded distracted when you called to tell me the results. I doubt that it's because the team lost."

Keigo looked up as he placed the papers down on the desk. "Ore-sama was thinking of how the lineup would change now that Shishido's off the regulars. Hiyoshi has a completely different style of tennis than Shishido. Ore-sama will have to reconsider who ore-sama puts in when and where in the lineup now."

Sakaki frowned. "Is that all?"

Keigo looked at Sakaki evenly as he brought up all of his defenses to make sure that Sakaki wasn't seeing anything he didn't want to be seen. "Ore-sama is sure that nothing else is on ore-sama's mind." Sakaki nodded and left Keigo alone.

Keigo leaned back in his chair as he stared at the form he was supposed to be filling out and filing. It was still blank and he didn't expect that to change any time soon. He just couldn't keep his mind from straying to the past. He wasn't sure why it was so bad. It was usually around the anniversary of Hiro-chan's accident. That had already come and gone in early May shortly after Hiro-chan's birthday. Maybe it was because he had been looking forward to facing off against Hiro-chan's team later in the tournament. Squeezing his eyes closed briefly he forced himself to focus on the forms he had to finish filling out before he could leave for the night.

Keigo woke up feeling groggy and wondering what was going on. It took a couple moments before he remembered that he had needed surgery and was probably back in his room. He lifted his head to look around only to see Hiro-chan curled up in a chair not far from the bed sound asleep. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. He managed a weak "Hiro-chan," but it was enough to wake his friend.

Hiro-chan sat up blinking the sleep from his eyes before realizing that Keigo was awake. He bounced off the chair and climbed onto Keigo's bed hugging him tightly. "I was so scared! I didn't know when you would wake up!" Keigo hugged him back tightly.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as they both settled down to go to sleep.

Keigo sat up quickly. He'd somehow fallen asleep over the paperwork he had almost finished. He rubbed his face wondering when the memories would stop plaguing him. He filled out the last few lines and filed all of it before locking up the room and heading home. He was exhausted and was grateful for the limo waiting outside the school's entrance. It would require all his energy to take a shower and crawl into bed. He was glad he didn't have to go to school in the morning. He wasn't sure he could wake up much before late morning.

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	4. He Had Lost

Sorry it took so long to update. Things kind of got away from me. Please read and review!

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Keigo frowned as he looked over the lineup for Seigaku again. Doubles two was listed as Momoshiro/Kikumaru and doubles one was Inui/Kaidoh. He couldn't understand why Hiro-chan, Oishi, he corrected himself mentally, wasn't listed in the lineup. He was still a regular, of that he was sure, so why wasn't he playing doubles one with Kikumaru like he always did? Keigo turned his attention back to the match that was unfolding. No doubt his Oshitari/Mukahi pair would easily take care of the makeshift pair they were facing. Especially with someone who openly admitted to having little to no doubles experience. 

9-year-old Keigo watched as his 10-year-old friend swung valiantly at the little yellow ball only to miss completely. Keigo tried not to laugh be he couldn't stop a small chuckle from escaping his lips. Hiro-chan looked over at him with a glare that Keigo didn't take seriously. "It's okay, Hiro-chan! You'll get it!" he cheered from his spot on the bench near the tennis court.

"Why are we doing this, Kei-chan?" Hiro-chan demanded as their instructor helped him adjust his grip and showed him the proper way to swing the racket again.

"It'll be fun!" Keigo replied with a grin. It would be fun. It would be one more thing that they could do together; just as soon as they figured out how to make the racket hit the ball consistently.

Keigo's eyes refocused on the match in front of him. Oshitari and Mukahi were starting to lose despite clearly being the better and more experienced doubles pair. Keigo couldn't come up with an explanation until he spotted someone watching over the two players from above. For the first time Keigo wasn't happy with what his insight showed him. He picked up on the bandage on Hiro-chan's right wrist quickly and immediately began to worry. It took all his effort to not let it show as he would have done in the past.

"Those guys, it's not just the two of them. All three of them are playing doubles" Keigo heard himself say. He wasn't sure why he said it, probably to keep up pretenses. It was second nature by now.

Keigo tore his eyes away from his best friend and turned his attention back to the courts. It was the only way for him to keep from showing everything that he was feeling. He was glad to see that there wasn't anything seriously wrong with Hiro-chan, but it still hurt that he couldn't go check up on him. He had no excuse to go over and ask if Oishi was alright. Oishi had no memory of being Hiro-chan and no memory what-so-ever of Keigo. Hiro-chan only existed in the memories that Keigo wished he could forget yet at the same time treasured more than anything else.

"Friends forever?" 10-year-old Keigo looked up at the strange question. "We'll be friends forever, right Kei-chan?"

Keigo crawled across the bed to sit right next to Hiro-chan. "That's a silly question, Hiro-chan. Of course we'll be friends forever."

Hiro-chan smiled and rested his head against Keigo's shoulder smiling. "Good. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either" Keigo whispered softly.

Keigo tried to focus on the rest of the matches after Oshitari and Mukahi lost, but found it difficult with those words ringing in his head. Hiro-chan hadn't wanted to lose him as a friend. He hadn't wanted to forget Keigo and had promised to be friends forever, but Hiro-chan was gone and Oishi didn't remember him. Why couldn't he stop dwelling on that? He'd been doing well since he first realized he'd lost his best friend. He hadn't dwelled on it like this. He wasn't constantly reminding himself that he had lost the most precious thing in his world. What was wrong with him?

Keigo shook himself mentally to get himself ready for his own match. Facing off against Tezuka Kunimitsu, healthy or injured as he suspected the other teen was, would be a challenge. He would need to be completely focused on his match and couldn't allow thoughts of Hiro-chan interrupt his goal of winning. If he didn't win then Hyotei would be out of the tournament and that was not something he wanted. He would have one less thing to distract him if he wasn't working to become number one at the National Tournament.

Keigo's eyes drifted over to Seigaku only to see something that greatly disturbed him; Hiro-chan looking at Tezuka with eyes that held too much emotion for them to be just friends. His grip tightened around his racket as his plan to destroy Tezuka Kunimitsu only became more solidified in his mind. He would make Tezuka break for taking what should have been his. Tezuka had Hiro-chan when it should have been Keigo. He should be the one Hiro-chan was watching, not Tezuka!

The tie-break lasted too long. He won and accomplished his goal of destroying Tezuka, but it was a hollow victory. Keigo was exhausted. He hated being exhausted in front of people because he knew it would be harder to keep them from seeing his pain. He worked so hard to conceal the anger and hurt that losing Hiro-chan as a friend had caused to let it go now. The pain was getting worse. It felt like the already broken pieces of his heart were being ground into irreparably small pieces. There was no putting his heart back together anymore. He had completely lost his Hiro-chan to someone else. How could he have lost?

"We'll be friends forever, right Kei-chan?"

Keigo barely kept his composure through Hiyoshi's match. It was too hard to pretend that something wasn't affecting him. In a strange twist of fate Hiyoshi's loss gave him a reason to appear upset to the others. They could misinterpret it all they wanted as being upset they were out of the tournament. Keigo didn't care anymore. There was no reason to care about anything anymore. Hiro-chan's memory loss was permanent and now he was with Tezuka. Keigo tried to tell himself that it wasn't Hiro-chan, but Oishi who was dating Tezuka. It didn't help. He had won his tennis match and destroyed his opponent's arm to the point where he'd need serious physical therapy to play again, but none of that mattered. It just didn't matter anymore because he hadn't won the real prize. He hadn't won Hiro-chan back. Tezuka had won that fight.

He had lost.

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	5. Migraines and Flashbacks

I apologize for not updating for a week, but real life got in the way and I just didn't have time. Please read, review and enjoy!

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Oishi forced a smile as he watched Tezuka walk away to board the plane that would take him to Germany. They hadn't had as much alone time as Oishi had wanted before being separated for so long a time, but it would have to do. It didn't help that Ryuzaki-sensi had accompanied them to the airport so that even a goodbye kiss was out of the question. They were trying to keep their relationship quiet and not let people know about it. Oishi doubted they were really all that successful, but didn't say anything. It was hard to watch him leave so calmly after basically telling Oishi he trusted him more than anyone. It was something Oishi knew, but it felt good to be given confirmation every now and then. Tezuka would come back and they'd be together again in no time. He had the club, winning Kanto and getting to Nationals to keep him busy. He was sure that time would fly by. It had to. Otherwise he couldn't be sure he'd be able to stay sane.

Somehow he couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was losing something he had lost before. He really hated being an amnesiac some days.

Keigo collapsed in his chair in his private library. There was a stack of books on the table beside his chair as well as a cup of tea. Picking up the first book he opened it intent on losing himself in the world of books and literature to force out the memories of his loss to Tezuka. He focused his eyes on the page and started reading. He had purposely chosen the most difficult and thickest books he had so that he wouldn't have room to think about anything but what was being presented to him on the page. It was better that way.

Keigo was forced to abandon his books three hours later when a pounding started in his temples warning him of a larger, much more painful headache should he be stupid enough to keep reading. Frowning he stood and left his library unsure of how else to divert his obsessive thoughts. He knew the first thing he had to do was find his migraine medication so that his headache didn't actually turn into a full blown migraine. He briefly toyed with the idea of calling Jiro or Oshitari for a tennis match, but discarded the idea. There was no doubt that Oshitari was somewhere with Mukahi and Jiro would only prove annoying should he come over to Keigo's home.

What to do? Keigo went through a mental checklist discarding every idea he came up with as not distracting enough when he finally decided to go to a concert his mother had told him about that night. A quick glance at his watch told him he still had four hours before the concert would begin. He would have to distract himself by walking around the grounds and getting the dull headache to go away. Hopefully it would be enough, but that was incredibly doubtful.

8-year-old Keigo sat on the ground next to Hiro-chan holding his head. He didn't feel well at all and the world refused to stop spinning. His head was pounding and the slightest noise was enough to make him want to cry in pain. The bright noon August sun wasn't helping anything. The only thing that was helping was Hiro-chan's hand running up and down his back very gently in an attempt to soothe him. He felt someone pick him up and carry him back to the house and the contact with Hiro-chan disappear.

9-year-old Hiro-chan poked his waking friend. "Do you feel better? They gave you something to help" he said softly.

Keigo reached out for his friend who quickly scrambled onto the bed and into Keigo's arms. They liked being in physical contact with each other even if it was considered abnormal for two boys their age. "My head still hurts, but I do feel a little better," Keigo whispered.

Hiro-chan nodded and wrapped his arms around Keigo tightly. "Sleep then." Keigo smiled a little as he buried his face in his friend's shoulder and went back to sleep.

Keigo could tell that his medicine wasn't going to be enough to keep a migraine from forming. He could only hope that lying down and resting for a few hours before dinner would cure it. If it lasted until the next morning he would have to call off school which would mean one less distraction from the memories. He sighed as he turned and headed back to the mansion he called home. He hesitated in his steps as his eyes landed on a familiar statue.

"Hiro-chan, hurry! We'll get stuck doing homework if we don't get away now!" 11-year-old Keigo called over his shoulder as he passed one of the many statues in his family's gardens.

"Kei-chan!" The panicked note in Hiro-chan's voice made Keigo turn around just in time to see Hiro-chan hit his head on the statue Keigo had just passed.

"Hiro-chan!"

Keigo shook his head as a tear slipped down his cheek. If anybody saw him crying he would blame it on the migraine that was getting worse the longer he stayed outside. Really, he shouldn't have been stupid enough to think that going for a walk would help his headache. He would have to relegate himself to his bedroom with orders to the staff not to bother him until his headache subsided. He hadn't been planning on going to the concert so it wasn't a big deal that he wasn't going. No one was expecting him to be there.

"You should take better care of yourself, Kei-chan." 10-year-old Keigo cracked an eye open as a cold towel was placed on his forehead. Hiro-chan was standing beside his bed looking worried. "You have to be careful with your headaches."

"I know, but I'd miss out on all the fun stuff if I was that careful."

Hiro-chan glared at him in annoyance and worry. "Go to sleep, Kei-chan."

Keigo recognized an order when he heard one. "Easier said than done, Hiro-chan," he murmured softly as he closed his eyes and tried to follow his friend's orders. He bowed his head and tucked it beneath Hiro-chan's chin.

Keigo crawled into bed wishing not for the first time that Hiro-chan was there to watch over him as he slept and keep a cool towel on his forehead. Hiro-chan wasn't there so instead he buried his face in his pillows and willed himself to fall asleep.

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	6. Worry over the Past

I am such an utter failure. I apologize to everyone waiting for this to get updated. I'll try and update more regularly, but as finals are about to hit that might have to wait. Sorry!

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Oishi hung up as he drew his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. He was locked up in his room after dinner. He had just ended a too short conversation with Tezuka because if he didn't he would have started crying. Oishi reached up and wiped a tear from his face. It was only a little after five thirty so Oishi would have to come up with an excuse for why he wasn't leaving his room until the next morning. The worst part of it all was that their conversation had been forced on both ends. They discussed the team and Tezuka's rehabilitation, but they didn't discuss them. Oishi hadn't even managed to tell his boyfriend he loved him before hanging up.

A knock at Oishi's door got his attention. "Shuichiro? Are you alright in there?" his mother called.

"I'm fine, mom. I'm just tired. Practice took more out of me than usual with the extra responsibilities as temporary captain," he called back.

"Go to bed early then. Just ask if there's anything you want."

"Okay." Oishi waited until he heard her footsteps retreat down the hall before he let his head hit his knees again. Why did all of this feel so incredibly familiar?

Keigo glared at the intercom system wondering who had the nerve to bother him when he was suffering from a migraine. It had been nearly 24 hours since his migraine had hit and despite the medicine and taking a day and a half off school he wasn't feeling any better. It worried him that his migraines were increasing in frequency and intensity. He would have to visit his doctor soon for a check-up, but for now he would have to deal with whoever was waiting for him.

Keigo walked down the main staircase to the foyer where he was surprised to see his teammates gathered. "What can ore-sama do for you?" he inquired as he reached the bottom step.

Oshitari smirked. "You haven't been in school since yesterday morning. It's not normal for our captain to go missing" he drawled out in the accent Keigo found incredibly annoying. "Are you avoiding us after we lost?"

Keigo's eye twitched mostly in pain at having to listen to anyone. He was much better off in the quiet sanctuary of his private rooms. "Ore-sama does not care what you do now that the tennis season is over. Ore-sama didn't feel well. School and dealing with you lot would have made ore-sama feel worse so ore-sama stayed home" he replied trying to sound as normal as possible when even his own voice was creating pain. "You may go about your own business now. Ore-sama has no desire to entertain you." With that said Keigo turned and retreated from the presence of his teammates.

9-year-old Keigo woke slowly. The medication had helped and his head was no longer throbbing like it had been. He climbed out of bed and went in search of Hiro-chan knowing he was still around. He couldn't say for sure how he knew his best friend hadn't gone home yet, but he was positive that he would find his friend soon. Sure enough as soon as he walked into the large playroom he found Hiro-chan working on his homework like the dutiful student he was.

Hiro-chan looked up from his homework and smiled at Keigo. "Are you better Kei-chan?"

Keigo sat down next to Hiro-chan as he nodded. "All better. The medicine helps a lot," he explained. "What homework are you doing?"

Hiro-chan looked down at the notebook he had been writing in. "History," he replied after a second.

Keigo snickered. "Did you forget what you were studying so quickly?"

Hiro-chan blushed a little as he shoved his best friend. "You distracted me! I had to make sure that you were feeling better! That definitely takes priority over history homework," Hiro-chan defended. 

Keigo grinned and hugged his friend tightly. "Can you help me with mine?"

"Of course," Hiro-chan replied with a smile.

Keigo threw himself down on his bed and pressed his face into his pillow. The short meeting with his teammates was enough to make his world start spinning from the pain. The memories it was bringing to the front weren't doing him any good either. Picking up his phone he scrolled through the numbers until he found the one for his doctor. The short conversation arranging for his doctor to come to his home for a check up was almost more than he could bear.

A cool hand was placed against the back of his neck and for a second he forgot how old he was and everything that happened in the past few years. "It's not like you to dismiss people so quickly, Keigo," his mother's voice cut through the pain before intensifying it. Keigo lurched to his feet and barely made it before the few things he had been able to eat since his migraine hit came up. He felt his mother's hand on the back of his neck and then running through his hair in an attempt to soothe him.

It wasn't long before the doctor arrived and gave him stronger painkillers that knocked him out of no time.

Oishi sat up after having dozed off early feeling worry deep in his stomach. His hand went to his phone and he quickly dialed Tezuka fearing that something had happened to his boyfriend in Germany. Then he remembered that Tezuka didn't have his cell phone and there was no way to get in touch with him except to dial the number Tezuka had called from earlier.

"Hello?"

"Kunimitsu?" Oishi questioned not willing to believe his luck.

"Shuichiro, is something wrong?" Tezuka demanded softly, gently like he only did when he was worried about Oishi.

"I don't know. I woke up feeling like something bad had happened so I called you to make sure you were alright." Oishi heard Tezuka sigh on the other end and waited for a response.

"I'm fine. I would call you if something were wrong."

Oishi tried to convince himself that it was true, but the feeling in his gut wasn't going away. "You're sure? I just know something's wrong and it's such a strong feeling I assumed it was you."

"I'm sure. Maybe it's someone from your past. Someone you don't remember," Tezuka offered.

"Maybe," Oishi said softly. "I'll let you go. I know you're busy," he said quickly. He didn't wait for Tezuka to say anything, just hung up. He rubbed the scar on the side of his head that was easily hidden by his hair. Who could he be worried about that his parents hadn't reintroduced him to?


	7. Chapter 7

Oishi watched as his teammates settled into bed after a long day of training. The rest of the Kanto tournament had gone by quickly for which he was grateful. Spending this much time away from Tezuka was killing him and he just wanted him to come back. He glanced at his cell phone as it started to ring and frowned. Reaching out he picked it up. He had to fight back the smile so that his friends wouldn't get any ideas. He walked out of the room before he answered and pressed the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey. You've been ignoring me," Tezuka's voice drifted through the phone making Oishi wish for him to reappear.

"I haven't been ignoring you, per se." Oishi walked out into the lawn as he talked. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Fuji watching him walk. "It's just," he searched for the words briefly, "it's hard to talk to you. It's hard to know how far away you are. I can hear you, but you aren't _here_." He kept walking. He had to do something while he spoke to Tezuka. His hand rose to rub his scar subconsciously. He wasn't sure when he had picked that habit up again, but he couldn't seem to stop.

"I know it's hard, but it won't be for much longer. You just have to be patient for a little longer." Oishi could hear Tezuka sigh on the other end.

"Did you have a reason for calling?" Oishi questioned as he paused briefly in his wandering to look back at the cottage where the others were clearly asleep.

"I did." Tezuka paused, but Oishi waited as patiently as he could for his boyfriend to continue. "I spoke with Atobe earlier today. He's agreed to hold practice matches between our teams the day after tomorrow. I thought I should tell you so that you're not surprised when they show up."

Oishi frowned as he mulled over that information. "Why?"

"The team needs to practice against someone other than each other, Shuichiro. You know that."

Oishi rolled his eyes. That he understood. "Why did you call Atobe of all people to play against us?" Oishi wasn't sure why he was irritable on the topic of Atobe, but he was. "Couldn't you have called someone else to play against us?"

"What's gotten into you, Shuichiro? You don't sound like yourself. I called Atobe because Hyotei's the strongest team we've faced yet. We went to our reserve on that match. What's wrong?"

Oishi kicked at a rock that was lying near his bare feet. "I don't know. I've got a bit of a headache. It's probably just making me a little more irritable than normal," he offered as an explanation. It was true that he had a headache. The area just around his scar was throbbing, but he doubted that was the reason for his short temper.

"I doubt that, but I won't push you. I wish you could tell me though. It's not like you to keep anything from me." Oishi didn't say anything as he started to move back toward the cottage. "I love you, Shuichiro. I hope you realize that."

Oishi sighed as he paused a few feet from the entrance to the room the regulars were sleeping in. "I know. I love you, too, but I really just want you to be here to hold me some times. Come home soon, Kunimitsu. I miss you," he whispered. Before Tezuka could say anything he hung up and headed towards the room. He placed his phone by his sleeping bag before heading down the hall to the bathroom to clean his feet. He didn't want to go to sleep with his feet covered with dirt and bits of grass.

As he laid down to sleep Oishi wondered why his scar was still throbbing lightly when it hadn't done that since it healed weeks after he woke up.

* * *

Keigo put his phone down after speaking to Tezuka for several minutes. His teammates were entertaining themselves in one of the rooms of his family's summer cottage. He had originally planned to join them after he was off the phone, but he was no longer going to. Keigo had agreed to have his team play practice matches against Seigaku at the training camp they were holding to get ready for the Kanto finals. The match he and his team should have been competing in. 

Keigo pinched the bridge of his nose gently. Tezuka, no doubt, believed he had agreed in order to play against the freshman brat on Seigaku. He was incredibly wrong. Keigo was worried about how Hiro-chan was actually coping with the pressures of being captain, temporary or not. The Hiro-chan he had known wouldn't have done well with that kind of pressure and responsibility. Sure, Hiro-chan was responsible, but it was a different kind and the boy certainly didn't handle pressure well.

-----------

"Hiro-chan? What's wrong? You're shaking," 9-year-old Keigo said softly as he placed a hand on Hiro-chan's shoulder.

"I'm scared," 10-year-old Hiro-chan whispered softly. "I'm really scared." He sounded like he was whimpering.

Keigo shifted and pulled Hiro-chan into his lap. "It's okay, Hiro-chan. There's nothing to be afraid of," he cooed softly. He turned a harsh glare on the maid who had been yelling at them to do their homework and behave themselves for once. Keigo didn't think they misbehaved that much, but the maid seemed to think differently.

-----------

Keigo sighed as he sat down in his large wingback chair and picked up his glass of red tea. If a simple lecture had been enough to trigger Hiro-chan's first panic attack at the tender age of 10, he couldn't imagine the damage that the pressures of being captain could do. He wasn't giving Hiro-chan enough credit though. Once Hiro-chan had been treated with the proper medication he had been able to handle stress a lot better.

"What am I doing?" he questioned himself out loud not really expecting an answer.

"Ignoring your guests would be my answer, but I doubt that you're asking me," a familiar Kansai voice said from behind Keigo.

"Go away, Oshitari. Ore-sama has no desire or patience to deal with you or the others at the moment." He didn't even grace his annoying teammate with a look as he stared out his window. "You aren't leaving," he drawled out.

Oshitari snorted. "Fine, I'll leave you to your thoughts, but I won't be responsible when Gakuto and Jiro destroy your cottage."

Keigo merely waved his hand in dismissal. He wanted to be alone to think about the possible consequences of seeing Hiro-chan outside of the tennis courts. He shook his head as he realized they would be meeting again on the tennis courts so it wasn't a big deal. He would act as he had since Hiro-chan had forgotten him.

Keigo squeezed his eye shut at that thought. He wanted to cry like he had when he was small. He wanted Hiro-chan to remember him. It was selfish and probably not the best thing for Hiro-chan, but he wanted to be best friends again. He wanted things to go back to the way they had been before the accident, before the memory loss, before he was separated from his best friend. This was all too much to handle.

Crossing the room he turned the light off and locked the door so that he wouldn't be disturbed by his rambunctious teammates in the middle of the night. With any luck he wouldn't dream of Hiro-chan once his body settled enough to actually sleep.

Luck wasn't on his side.

-----------

12-year-old Keigo stared at his best friend's father in disbelief. "But, Hiro-chan and I are best friends. We've always been best friends. Why can't I be his friend anymore? I'm the only one he has!"

Oishi-san crouched so that he was eye-level with Keigo. "Shuichiro needs to make friends other than you, Keigo. He won't do that so long as he can rely on you to be there for every little thing. He needs to blossom socially."

Keigo glared at him. "You're only going to end up hurting Hiro-chan, but I won't defy your wishes, Oishi-san. I'll keep an eye on him even though he won't know me anymore." With that said Keigo turned on his heel and walked as calmly as he could back to the car that had brought him to his best friend's home.


	8. Chapter 8

Keigo stepped off the bus with his teammates at the sad excuse for a cottage Seigaku was staying at for their training. He wasn't impressed with the surroundings, but his attention wasn't on that as much as it was on Hiro-chan. They all seemed tired from whatever they had been doing before Hyotei had showed up, but that would only make it easier for his teammates to win. It would be a hollow victory since the two teams were hardly on an even level. Seigaku was exhausted; Hyotei was well rested. Keigo's eyes kept trying to go back to Hiro-chan, but he forced them to focus on the entire team. He didn't want anyone thinking he was paying special attention to Hiro-chan.

Aside from a small drama involving a frog that landed on Ohtori's forehead causing him to freak out considerably the span of time leading up to the matches was hardly entertaining. He did note that Hiro-chan seemed to be coping with the pressures of being temporary captain rather well. Still, Keigo could easily pick up on the small changes in behavior and speech patterns that indicated his Hiro-chan was far from relaxed about the situation. He could easily be set into a panic attack if something were to go wrong.

Keigo ordered his team from the comfort of his chair as his butler made sure to keep his glass of juice filled. He knew that the others would think badly of this show of money and power, but today of all days his act needed to be at it's very best. He couldn't let anyone know, especially not Hiro-chan, that he wasn't really the arrogant bastard everyone mistook him for. It was better that they all kept their preconceived notions of him so that he wouldn't be forced to explain himself and break his promise to Oishi-san.

The matches were rather predictable for the most part. Kabaji lost to Kikumaru after jumping around too much. The large second-year's body could hardly handle the stress that the acrobatics put on his legs. Oshitari ended up losing 7-5 to Fuji which didn't surprise Atobe since their skills were so similar. It could have gone either way. Mukahi lost to Momoshiro, but after the tremendous display of power the second-year showed, that didn't surprise Atobe either. Mukahi wasn't a singles player. Jiro lost to Kaidoh after much excitement over seeing the boomerang snake for the first time. Hiyoshi tied with Inui, which was the only truly surprising outcome. He'd expected the probable future captain of Hyotei to win against someone like Inui who relied so much on data. He wasn't surprised when Hiro-chan ended the match between Kawamura and Ohtori to prevent damaging Kawamura's wrist.

The only match that Keigo was truly interested in was Shishido's match against Hiro-chan. That match had managed to keep his attention better than the others. They were two very well matched players and Keigo couldn't help but wonder if his Hiro-chan was good enough to beat Shishido. The familiar worried feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach was enough to tell him that something could go terribly wrong if the match played itself out to a full 12 games. Hiro-chan was diving for ball after ball and was getting thoroughly messy. Whether any of it would lead to actual injuries Keigo couldn't say, but the fact that he wasn't sure was bothering him more than anything. He tried to tell himself that Shishido was getting just as beat up and there was no reason what-so-ever for him to worry because if Shishido could handle it then so could Hiro-chan. The nagging in the back of his mind reminding him that Hiro-chan was much more fragile than Shishido was preventing him from believing his own conclusions.

Shishido was winning, keeping Hiro-chan running from side to side. There was something off in Hiro-chan's playing. Keigo could practically see the self-doubt written in Hiro-chan's eyes. He was thinking he couldn't beet Shishido, something Keigo didn't believe in the slightest. His Hiro-chan was stronger than Hiro-chan realized, but Keigo had faith that if he could just stop doubting himself he'd realize it himself. Keigo watched as something changed in Hiro-chan's eyes and he became more determined. Keigo knew that the something encouraging Hiro-chan to be so strong and go for the win was Tezuka. Hiro-chan was fighting to not disappoint Tezuka, not for himself. Keigo wanted nothing more than for Hiro-chan to fight for Hiro-chan.

Keigo was relieved to see the two players call it a draw on their own volition. The two seemed pleased with their match, but Keigo still felt like ringing Shishido's neck for possibly hurting his Hiro-chan. He calmly reminded himself that he couldn't do so for that reason because no one knew just how precious Hiro-chan was to him, not even Oishi. Because Oishi was Oishi, not Hiro-chan. They were two different people in one body separated by one small event that had done so much damage to Keigo's world. Hiro-chan seemed to be okay though so he didn't allow himself to worry about it as he prepared for his own match against Echizen. After all, as he found he was constantly reminding himself this tennis season, Hiro-chan didn't exist anymore. Oishi was the vice-captain of Seigaku, not the little boy Keigo had grown up loving.

This match was the reason he had supposedly agreed to have his team play against Seigaku. This match was what he had promised Tezuka, no matter how much he hated the other teen, and he would prove to the cocky little brat that he was not the best there was in the world. Tezuka wanted him to teach Echizen, help him improve and the only reasons he wouldn't destroy the boy was that it would end up giving Hiro-chan even more to worry about and a reason to hate Keigo. No, he wouldn't destroy the brat to spite Tezuka, he'd teach him a lesson though. He'd push him to his limit and see what the brat had to say to that. Tezuka told him to make Echizen evolve, get better. Keigo had no interest in doing anything Tezuka wanted him to do, but if it would help Hiro-chan in any way at all, then he would do it. Tezuka had taken what was most important to him and didn't even realize it which only meant that Keigo couldn't lash out at him.

With one glance at Hiro-chan sitting in the ref's chair he realized that he had to do his best to impress Hiro-chan on some level. He had to prove he was better than Tezuka. If only he knew how to do that.

-----

10-year-old Keigo lied in his bed staring up at his ceiling when he felt someone bounce onto it. Lifting his head he found his best friend sitting beside him with a sad smile. "Ne, Kei-chan, you don't have to pretend to be all tough. I like you even when you're not strong. It doesn't matter so long as Kei-chan is Kei-chan. You'll always be my best friend!"

-----

* * *

Oishi settled into the referee's chair trying to ignore the faint throbbing in the area around his scar. It had been giving him too much trouble lately and it was starting to get annoying. Really he just wished that it would go away, but he was starting to notice a pattern to the appearance of the pain. The only common denominator with all of the episodes was Atobe. Why Atobe was causing him such headaches without doing anything except forcing Tezuka to go to Germany was a mystery to Oishi. Unless, Atobe had something to do with his past, but that was ridiculous. His parents would have told him if he had any connection with someone like Atobe. Oishi couldn't believe that his parents would lie to him about something in his past.

He forced his attention to calling the match properly, but his attention kept wandering to Atobe and his motives for pushing Echizen as hard as he was. He was worried that his kouhai would be hurt, but also that Atobe was pushing himself to hard. It didn't make sense and the more he tried to think about it the worse his headache got so he did his best to just accept the way things were. It was all he could do for the time being until he could talk to someone who knew him before his accident. He hated that he needed to be told who he knew and who he didn't.

When Atobe started to leave the court saying it was pointless to play the last game because Echizen's wrist was at it's limit the worry in his stomach tripled. Who he was worried about he wasn't sure. Echizen's taunts about Atobe being a coward were enough to bring the Hyotei captain back onto the court, but Oishi thought that it wasn't a good idea, for either of them. Neither of them should still be pushing themselves to play. Atobe had the right idea in ending the match. Another long drawn out match was possibly devastating, but he couldn't say anything like he had with Taka-san. Here there was only the chance, not the certainty, of injury.

Oishi sat back and watched the match carefully for injuries on either side. As soon as he thought that one of them was going to end up hurt he would call an end to their game. He didn't care if he pissed off Atobe in the process. He just wanted his friends to come away from this uninjured. His thoughts stopped as he called out the score somewhat mechanically. When did he refer to either one of the players as his friends? Echizen was a teammate, his kouhai and close enough to be considered a friend. His only connection to Atobe was tennis. Atobe was the one who had set out to destroy Tezuka's shoulder and that injured shoulder was what was keeping Oishi away from his boyfriend. He rubbed at his scar as it started to actually throb.

Oishi had that feeling in the pit of his stomach again. Someone was important to him was hurting or in trouble. As he checked on Echizen after the match had ended and found the boy perfectly fine he sighed in relief. At least that eliminated one person from his list to check on. Oishi's eyes slowly drifted over to where Atobe was standing. He picked up a glass of juice that his butler was offering only to have it slip from his hand. Oishi blinked when he saw Atobe's lips moved forming the words "Hiro-chan." Oishi bit his lip wondering what was wrong with Atobe, but quickly pushed it out of his mind as the team started to gather around them.

Oishi found his eyes following Atobe as Hyotei departed that night. He wasn't sure why, but ever since the end of the match and seeing that glass drop from Atobe's hand the knot in his stomach had tightened. He really needed to ask his parents if he had ever known Atobe Keigo before his accident. If he did it would explain a lot.

Before Oishi went to bed that night his cell phone started ringing. He picked it up and started walking away from the rowdy regulars who were far from wanting to sleep. Instead of staying and letting them overhear his conversation he walked away like he had only a few nights before. He would miss the cottage and wished that Tezuka had been there to enjoy the camp with them. "Hello?"

"Were you thinking of hanging up on me?" Tezuka's teasing voice came across the line easing some of the tension that had been in Oishi's body since the match between Atobe and Echizen.

"No, I wasn't going to hang up on you. I just wanted to get away from the others before I answered the phone so that they wouldn't overhear. Is that okay?" Oishi inquired with a small smile tugging at his lips.

"It's fine, but you've hung up on me more than once since I've been in Germany. I just wanted to make sure."

Oishi sighed as he sat down on the grass and lied back to look up at the starry sky. "I miss you, Kunimitsu. I want you to come home."

"I know, Shuichiro. I miss you too and I promise you I will come home as soon as my rehab is finished, but it's still going to take some time. Try to be patient," Tezuka replied in that soft, calming voice he used when he thought Oishi was getting too upset over something. "I spoke to Atobe about the matches. He mentioned that you and Shishido ended your match at a 4 game tie. Were either of you hurt?"

Oishi rolled his eyes. "No, Kunimitsu. I'm fine and I'm pretty sure Shishido's healthy as well. We came to a mutual understanding that it we had both worked hard to get to where we are and there was no need to see who was better. That's all it was." Oishi picked at the grass as his eyes stayed trained on the stars. "The night's beautiful, Kunimitsu. I wish you were here to see it with me," he whispered softly.

"So do I, Shuichiro. So do I."


	9. Chapter 9

Keigo sighed as he got ready for bed. He had his back turned to the mirror as he brushed his teeth not wanting to see his reflection. He hated himself; hated the fact that he had almost let Hiro-chan know the big secret. How could he have been so stupid as to say Hiro-chan's name after his match with the brat? Keigo had _known_ that Hiro-chan was watching him carefully. He couldn't be sure as to the reason why, but he had felt that familiar gaze filled with worry resting on him for several minutes as the others celebrated the brat's final win. Who Hiro-chan was worried about, Keigo couldn't say and that was what bothered him the most.

Keigo wanted Hiro-chan to be worried about him, not the snarky brat that could take care of himself. Keigo needed Hiro-chan back. It was getting ridiculous. The more he was around his friend the harder it got to not reach out and touch him. It got harder to keep from going over and telling him everything. All he wanted to do was to get Hiro-chan alone in a room and tell him everything that his parents had been keeping from him. Keigo _needed_ Hiro-chan to be around. Hiro-chan was the most calming influence in his life until their forced separation.

-----

"Kei-chan!" 11-year-old Hiro-chan cried in frustration as he climbed onto his friend's large bed. "What would you do if I didn't come check on you? No one would know that you're not feeling well! You can't do this!"

Keigo tugged his best friend down so that they were lying beside each other. "I don't have to worry about that because you'll always be here to check up on me. You're not planning on leaving me, are you?" he asked as he buried his face in Hiro-chan's neck for comfort.

Hiro-chan sighed and wrapped his arms around Keigo's waist. "I promise I'll never leave you, Kei-chan. You're my best friend and you'll always be my best friend. I promise," he whispered as he held Kei-chan close. "You should sleep, Kei-chan. You'll feel better when you wake up. You always do."

Keigo nodded as he shifted closer to Hiro-chan. Just having the other boy with him was helping. The pain in his stomach and head was starting to die down as Hiro-chan's presence worked its magic on him once more.

-----

Keigo walked over to his bedroom door to turn the lock before heading to bed. He didn't like it when the staff would wake him in the morning. That's what his alarm clock was for and he'd rather not have to deal with people until he was conscious enough to put up his mask. It was better that way. It was better if no one got to see the real him anymore. It kept his heart from breaking all over again.

Keigo slid beneath the covers, but found himself restless. Speaking to Tezuka earlier had set him on edge as it always did. He couldn't forgive the other teen for taking away what had always been his. He couldn't forgive that Tezuka used him in his plots without knowing the damage he was inflicting on Keigo's heart and psyche. The more time he was forced to spend with Hiro-chan was a blessing and a curse. He had an excuse to see his best friend, but he couldn't be who he wanted to be with his friend. He couldn't reveal his true self to the one person who had ever mattered anything to him. Keigo didn't care about anyone else, not even himself. Despite the common misconceptions based on his mask he didn't really care about himself. Keigo's only concerns were Hiro-chan and Hiro-chan's happiness which is why he couldn't get in Tezuka's way.

Tezuka appeared to make Hiro-chan happy. They wouldn't be dating if he didn't so Keigo would have to accept that. He would have to accept that he could not replace Tezuka in Hiro-chan's life because Hiro-chan was Oishi. Oishi didn't have room for someone like Atobe pretended to be. As long as Oishi was Oishi and not Hiro-chan Keigo didn't stand a chance. That was how it was and Keigo had to accept it. Too bad he didn't _want_ to accept it.

Giving up on falling asleep Keigo slipped out of bed and got changed into a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. He quietly left the mansion and went for a walk through the expansive grounds. The moon was full and perfectly clear which didn't seem to fit Keigo's mood very well, but it made for beautiful scenery. Keigo sat down on a bench that he and Hiro-chan used to always sit on when they had sleepovers to stare at the sky.

-----

11-year-old Kei-chan watched his friend as Hiro-chan concentrated very hard on the skies above them. "What are you doing, Hiro-chan?"

Hiro-chan groaned and turned a half-hearted glare at Kei-chan. "I was _trying_ to count the stars, Kei-chan. I lost track now," he pouted. Keigo laughed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what you were trying to do." Keigo tilted his head back as he too started to count the infinite stars above them. Hiro-chan shivered and moved closer to Kei-chan beneath the blanket they were sharing. "It's impossible, you know, to count all the stars."

"I don't believe in the impossible. People just give up too easily," Hiro-chan whispered back as he rested his head on Keigo's shoulder for support.

* * *

Oishi picked up his phone as it started ringing. He was working on homework, but he knew who was calling and promptly abandoned any thoughts of schoolwork in favor of talking to his boyfriend instead. Oishi made himself comfortable on his bed before putting the phone to his ear with a smile on his lips. "Hello?"

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Oishi rolled his eyes as he settled himself back against his pillows.

"No, you're not. I've been waiting for you to call."

Oishi sighed when he heard Tezuka chuckle. "I hope you don't spend all of your time waiting for me to call doing nothing, Shuichiro. That's highly unproductive of you."

Oishi laughed as he shifted to find the perfect way to lay on his bed comfortably while still keeping the phone pressed to his ear. "I do other things while I'm waiting, but I will always drop what I'm doing in favor of talking to you. You're half a world away, Kunimitsu. It's not like I can see you everyday at school. I have to make sure that I can be free when you call." Oishi curled up on his side with the phone resting next to his ear as he let his arms rest comfortably at his waist.

"Shuichiro, I know it's hard being away from each other. I miss you too, but that doesn't mean that we can neglect our duties. You need to make sure that you're getting everything else done that you need to. You should still be focusing on the team even if we've won Regionals. I trusted you to do that for me," Tezuka replied making Oishi sigh.

"I _am_ focusing on the team still, but that doesn't mean that I can't still wish we were closer. You have no idea how badly I want to change our flight to Germany from tomorrow morning to tonight. I want to see you, Kunimitsu. That's all there is to it," he stated rather indignantly.

Oishi could hear Tezuka sigh and could see him squeezing his eyes shut. "I want to see you too, Shuichiro. I'm thrilled that you'll be able to come out and spend some time here, but I want you to focus on other things besides me. If you just focus on me than you're just going to cause yourself more pain and I don't want you doing that to yourself. Do you understand that?"

Oishi grabbed the phone as he sat up getting thoroughly annoyed with the conversation he was having. "I _get_ it Kunimitsu! The point is that I _can't_ focus on other things to the point where I'm constantly distracted from the fact that my _boyfriend_ is multiple time zones away! Do you understand that?"

"I'm not trying to make you mad. I'm trying to tell you what I think. I know that you don't want to hear it because you're possibly the most stubborn person I've ever met when it comes to those kinds of things, but that doesn't change anything. You're hurting and I hate that. I can't help you from Germany. I need you to be strong." Tezuka sounded like he was getting impatient which he only ever seemed to do when he was talking to Oishi lately.

Oishi curled back up in a ball on his bed not wanting the conversation to continue in the direction it was. "I miss you," he whispered softly into the phone. "I want you to come home."

"That's why I'm asking you to focus on other things. I don't want you to be upset and missing me all of the time. I want you to have fun even though I'm not around for you. I'm working on getting home, Shuichiro. All I've done since I got here is work hard so that I can go back home to you," he whispered.

Oishi sighed and shifted on his bed so that he was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. He hadn't meant to send Tezuka on a guilt trip, but he obviously had with the tone of voice and the words Tezuka was saying. Tezuka never said things like that unless he thought Oishi was upset with him. "I have to go, Kunimitsu. I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered.

"Shuichiro, don't hang up. I don't want to end our conversation like this," Tezuka pressed.

Oishi sighed which was all he seemed to do when he talked to Tezuka lately. "We'll talk when I get to Germany to see you. I just can't keep this conversation up over the phone. I need to have it face to face. I love you," he said slowly. Oishi would have heard Tezuka's own "I love you" if he hadn't hung up immediately following his own. It hurt too much to talk to Tezuka anymore. He just wanted to curl up with his boyfriend and not move for a long time.

Instead Oishi took a quick shower, crawled into bed and tried to go to sleep despite the fact that it was only eight.

-----

Oishi looked around at the sheer darkness of the… place he was in. He called out, but his voice died as soon as it left his mouth. Fear started to creep into his hear and settle there as he turned around trying to see _something_, but finding nothing.

"Hiro-chan!" The voice was loud, clear and coming from every direction. Oishi tried to locate the source, but it kept bouncing around him. "Hiro-chan!" That voice was so familiar. Where had he heard it before? He couldn't place it and he couldn't find the source. He wanted to call out and ask who it was, but his voice still died as it left his lips.

-----

Oishi sat up in bed breathing heavily and covered in a cold sweat. He flicked his beside lamp on so that he could look around his room. His clock on the other side of the bed read 11:57. Oishi sighed and slipped out of bed to walk over the bathroom and clean off some of the sweat. Why had he been dreaming about something he'd seen Atobe say? That didn't make sense, but there was no way he was going to think hard about it. Who is Atobe to me? What don't I know?


	10. Chapter 10

Oishi sat down on the edge of Tezuka's bed as he ran through all the fights they'd been having over the phone recently. Now they were finally together and things didn't feel like they had before Tezuka left. "Kunimitsu…"

Tezuka sat down next to him and placed his hand on Oishi's knee. "Relax, Shuichiro. It's just us," he said firmly.

Oishi turned his head to the side to look at his boyfriend. "Relax? We fight every time we talk anymore. How am I supposed to relax?" he demanded. He shook his head, scooted back into the corner of the bed and drew his legs up to his chest. "What's going on with us, Kunimitsu? I want to believe that it's just the distance, but is it really?" he asked.

Tezuka moved and sat down next to Oishi again before pulling his boyfriend into his chest. "It's the distance, Shuichiro," he said softly. _We weren't having any problems when we could actually see and talk to each other on a regular basis. You need a lot of physical contact and I can't give that to you._

Oishi sighed and shifted so that he was half in Tezuka's lap. He tilted his head back to look up at the stoic man. "I do feel better now that you're around. It's so hard dealing with everyone when you're not there for them to listen to. They respect you more," he whispered.

Tezuka pulled Oishi into a firm kiss before he settled them both on the bed for a long nap while the others explored the city.

-----

Oishi ran through total darkness without a clue as to where he was going until he stumbled and hit his knees. His eyes fixated on a scene before him. Two little boys were running around a yard throwing snowballs at each other and laughing, happily.

"Hiro-chan! That's not fair!" One of the little boys cried as the other tackled him to the ground.

The other little boy laughed and smiled down at the slightly bigger boy. "Everything's fair Kei-chan!"

-----

Oishi crashed to the ground and woke up abruptly as he gasped for breath trying to figure out what was going on with his subconscious. A large, comforting hand was placed between his shoulder blades drawing his attention up to where Tezuka was out of the bed looking slightly worried.

"Shuichiro?" he asked softly as his hand started to move in circles. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Oishi crawled back into bed and rested his head on Tezuka's chest as he swallowed hard, trying to calm his racing heart. "No, not really a nightmare… it felt like a memory, but that's not really possible, is it?" he asked softly.

Tezuka sighed and wrapped his arms around Oishi's waist. "You tell me," he replied.

Oishi shifted so that he was draped across his boyfriend's body and looked up at him. "The doctor said I'd never regain my memory from before the accident, but I feel like my dream was a real memory. I just can't recognize it," he said softly as he looked into Tezuka's eyes.

"Talk to your parents about what you saw. They might know better," he advised as he rubbed Oishi's back gently. Oishi nodded and tried to go back to sleep.

* * *

Keigo slid into bed completely exhausted from a day where he didn't stop moving.

-----

11-year-old Keigo ran after 11-year-old Hiro-chan with a snowball in his hand, waiting to be thrown. Hiro-chan turned and tried to hit Keigo with a snowball of his home, but missed by a mile. Keigo laughed and threw his own snowball, just barely managing to catch Hiro-chan's arm.

Hiro-chan turned and ran back towards Keigo, tackling him to the ground with an infections laugh that despite Keigo's mild annoyance he couldn't help but join in the laughing for a moment.

"Hiro-chan! That's not fair!" he cried as he scrambled for a handful of snow.

"Everything's fair Kei-chan!" Hiro-chan replied with a happy laugh.

----- 

Keigo sat up in bed, eyes wide and feeling more alone than he had in years.


End file.
